I try to keep it positive on here and usually am pretty positive. So, I haven't been talking about the "real" issues much on here. Which is why I haven't posted much on here :) But today I decided to keep it real, so here goes
I am pretty disgusted with myself. It's not my fault really and sanity matters more than the following, but here's my confession-I have become SUCH a lazy person. What started as trying to cut out all unnecessary work AKA paper plates and easy food for kids (bagels, string cheese, gogurts, hotdogs, chicken nuggets) etc. you get my point? And sometimes just sitting on the couch all morning (well, whenever my kids didn't NEED something) :) Has turned into sheer laziness and it is affecting every area of my life. It has really made me feel disgusting which in turn makes me feel unmotivated to eat right and over all it is just bad.
I mean, I am having to convince myself to do daily household chores.
Now, in my defense...I have not been getting ANY sleep. Seriously! Baby Macy has NOT been sleeping more than a few hours at a time on any given night....lots of nights it has been every 45 min she is up. It's pretty much insane, so it's totally normal to not feel up to do anything, right? But, I see how it is becoming habit and it BUGS me. I will not become a fat, lazy mom who takes the easy road every time just because I don't Feel like cleaning a little. It's good to discipline oneself and feel accomplished.
Anyhow, last night for the first night in forever, maybe ever Macy slept 12 hours straight :) It seems like when I really work with her during the day to take good naps, she sleeps even better at night, so I am hoping we will continue this good streak and I will feel more motivated, but even if not, I will not let myself just be a lazy person. It's one thing to take a "mental health" day :) But, that can't become my norm.
It's also affecting my eating. I "feel" fat, so I am really struggling to make good eating choices. And am back up to the weight I started my ticker with. :(
Anyhow, I now choose to get up and put away the huge pile of my clothes, that I have been piling in the corner of my room for a week. I am not a lazy person, I swear I am not ;)
HA HA I mean no it's not funny but its like hearing myself some days:):):):) You know what though...your "defense" is a legit one...cause when I get enough uninterupted sleep I have like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more umph to do any simple thing. But you're right...I mean if sleeplessness is gonna be the norm for a while then we have to push through. Key is to find the "new norm" so some standards as far as the house etc will NEED to be lower but you gotta have a standard so that when you reach it each day you will feel like you have done enough. So just reevaluate and see what is reasonable for this stage of life and then go from there. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWould love to have you over for coffee sometime if you didn't live life 6hrs away:):)
Now that I've met little Macy...I can tell you she's cute...and worth it too!
Man, that momto9 is very wise. =)
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT lazy. Dude, you push yourself harder than anyone I've ever met. It's okay to give yourself a break. But I think it is wise to learn a new norm.
Do schedules help you or do they stress you out? Like if you accomplish one thing a day (besides doing dishes every day, say). Take one day and start a load of laundry and move it to the dryer. Then the next day you can fold that load and start a new one. And somewhere in there you can wipe down the bathroom counter and toilet with a Clorox wipe. Or something. ??
I'm really sorry life is so stressful and crazy for both of us right now, but I'm glad we can lean on each other. =)
And sleep is a HUGE, IMPORTANT factor. For real. So don't be too hard on yourself. You have 4 kids under six years old, a husband who is working his booty off and is gone more than he's home, and a sick mom. You have a lot on your plate.
I know it feels good to accomplish things too, so when you feel you have the energy just do small projects. Something you can cross off a list. ;-)
I'm here for you. Always.
As a Mommy to two teenagers, let me tell you, if I could change one thing, I would have cared less about my house when they were young. The chores will get done when they absolutely need to. The day is coming when the kids will be doing the chores and that day will be here in the blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteI remember the incredible fatigue with young babies and I regret forcing myself to try and aim for a perfect house. This time is too precious to worry about dusting!!!! Sit on the couch, enjoy that new baby, and the vacuuming will occur when it happens.