I try to keep it positive on here and usually am pretty positive. So, I haven't been talking about the "real" issues much on here. Which is why I haven't posted much on here :) But today I decided to keep it real, so here goes
I am pretty disgusted with myself. It's not my fault really and sanity matters more than the following, but here's my confession-I have become SUCH a lazy person. What started as trying to cut out all unnecessary work AKA paper plates and easy food for kids (bagels, string cheese, gogurts, hotdogs, chicken nuggets) etc. you get my point? And sometimes just sitting on the couch all morning (well, whenever my kids didn't NEED something) :) Has turned into sheer laziness and it is affecting every area of my life. It has really made me feel disgusting which in turn makes me feel unmotivated to eat right and over all it is just bad.
I mean, I am having to convince myself to do daily household chores.
Now, in my defense...I have not been getting ANY sleep. Seriously! Baby Macy has NOT been sleeping more than a few hours at a time on any given night....lots of nights it has been every 45 min she is up. It's pretty much insane, so it's totally normal to not feel up to do anything, right? But, I see how it is becoming habit and it BUGS me. I will not become a fat, lazy mom who takes the easy road every time just because I don't Feel like cleaning a little. It's good to discipline oneself and feel accomplished.
Anyhow, last night for the first night in forever, maybe ever Macy slept 12 hours straight :) It seems like when I really work with her during the day to take good naps, she sleeps even better at night, so I am hoping we will continue this good streak and I will feel more motivated, but even if not, I will not let myself just be a lazy person. It's one thing to take a "mental health" day :) But, that can't become my norm.
It's also affecting my eating. I "feel" fat, so I am really struggling to make good eating choices. And am back up to the weight I started my ticker with. :(
Anyhow, I now choose to get up and put away the huge pile of my clothes, that I have been piling in the corner of my room for a week. I am not a lazy person, I swear I am not ;)