Friday, February 25, 2011

Embrace it and Just do it

These are two things I have been thinking of lately...The first is to follow up my latest post about acceptance. Acceptance, in my opinion is the first step, but the second is embracing...That is what I am learning, not only to accept what my life is right now. That in itself is huge, but then to take a step farther forward and embrace it. Love it. Why do I let the way "I am" naturally or what I "like" to do naturally...get in the way of just accepting what my life is NOW and embracing it. My kids are actually pretty darn cute and do and say pretty darn cute things too and they have little "important" needs that I so easily ignore cuz of my "to do list" be that something I want or something else I "think" is important besides my kids. (one of these "important" needs was my 6 year old sharing that it was cuz of the dumb little germs that kept her home all week that she missed being the door holder as her "job" at school...apparently this is the "best" job of them all :( I felt bad that it took her all day to admit that to me, as in at bedtime, cuz I was busy doing my own thing all afternoon, for selfish reasons, not good ones :( But I can change and this I will do.
The second thought- Just do it..is one I am applying to housework. Now, there are some days and some times that the kids need attention or something else actually does need my attention so I don't have time for my housework. But, there are other times I just don't "feel" like doing the dishes one more time or the laundry or whatever. And I DO know the difference. :) In the case of the latter, I am finding that it really helps to just apply the saying "Just do it." It always feels better to be productive. So I have been working with that, just plunging in and getting the job done, rather than procrastinating and thinking about how I wish I didn't have to do it or I am tired or whatever! Seriously! And eating a good snack certainly doesn't help me "feel" like doing it either. I just need to "Just do it" and with that said. I need to just finish cleaning up a few things and get to bed. DH is fundraising til real late, so it will be my turn to get up at sunrise with the kids :)
On a happy note, Baby Macy has had 2 nights of sleeping all night long. HOORAY Baby Mace :)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Acceptance

I have been thinking lately, acceptance is really the key to happiness.
I have been really working on just accepting the way things are right now, and it does bring a peace to my life.
Accept the fact, my baby (s) :) don't sleep well right now=I feel much less energetic and patient. Accept it! I can't change it. Lower expectations of myself and said baby (s) :) Life is way easier to bear and I feel happier cuz of it.
Accept my weight. When I obsess about it, I have SUCH a hard time being nice and feeling happy. And my milk starts to dry up. Accept= maybe right now isn't the right time to prioritize that.
Accept the fact that my kids seem to Always be sick lately=GRUMPY babies. Acceptance=not expecting much cooperation from them.
Accept the fact that I like to be out and about but my life lately is much easier to live when mostly just at home. Acceptance=realizing that's the phase of life I am in right now.
Acceptance-it really is key!
I think :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

What I am loving

I was thinking earlier about things that make me happy. . (it seems to be that time of year, we all miss the sun or something?)

Anyhow, So I came up with a few things that made me happy recently..

1. My crock pot, currently I have chili simmering in it :)

2. Fresh linens on our bed, they smell SUPER good ;)

3. SLEEPING :)

4. Feeling productive. Today I did laundry, took a walk with my kids, remade our bed with above said fresh sheets. Made granola bars, did the dishes, feed all 4 kids and myself :) Tried to take a nap (but I drank too much coffee, so I couldn't sleep :) Took a shower, paid the bills...

5. The way I feel when I don't eat wheat, dairy or sugar.

6. Reading other peoples blogs

7. Watching castle episodes (hopefully tonight :)

8. The sun (looking forward to the summer)

9. Texting with my friends, especially Ruth Anne :)

10. When my kids play nicely together :)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thanks

Just wanted to say thanks for your kind comments on my last post. I had no idea how much it would help...to hear some kind words. :)
After reading Ruth Anne's comment I was realizing how I tend to not credit any of my hard days or sad feelings toward the likelihood of losing my mom. It feels like so long ago that we found out that she is sick, so I must be over it or something (NOT!) (as I was cleaning up tonight, I found a card my mom wrote and gave to me the morning I went in to have Macy and I bawled. What she wrote didn't even completely make sense, due to her tumor pressing on her brain so much. ..
but it was the last thing she wrote to me before we got the life altering news 3 weeks later.)
Anyhow, I got that pile of clothes put away...that felt good :)
And I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who care.
I have good friends :)

Keeping it real

I try to keep it positive on here and usually am pretty positive. So, I haven't been talking about the "real" issues much on here. Which is why I haven't posted much on here :) But today I decided to keep it real, so here goes

I am pretty disgusted with myself. It's not my fault really and sanity matters more than the following, but here's my confession-I have become SUCH a lazy person. What started as trying to cut out all unnecessary work AKA paper plates and easy food for kids (bagels, string cheese, gogurts, hotdogs, chicken nuggets) etc. you get my point? And sometimes just sitting on the couch all morning (well, whenever my kids didn't NEED something) :) Has turned into sheer laziness and it is affecting every area of my life. It has really made me feel disgusting which in turn makes me feel unmotivated to eat right and over all it is just bad.

I mean, I am having to convince myself to do daily household chores.

Now, in my defense...I have not been getting ANY sleep. Seriously! Baby Macy has NOT been sleeping more than a few hours at a time on any given night....lots of nights it has been every 45 min she is up. It's pretty much insane, so it's totally normal to not feel up to do anything, right? But, I see how it is becoming habit and it BUGS me. I will not become a fat, lazy mom who takes the easy road every time just because I don't Feel like cleaning a little. It's good to discipline oneself and feel accomplished.

Anyhow, last night for the first night in forever, maybe ever Macy slept 12 hours straight :) It seems like when I really work with her during the day to take good naps, she sleeps even better at night, so I am hoping we will continue this good streak and I will feel more motivated, but even if not, I will not let myself just be a lazy person. It's one thing to take a "mental health" day :) But, that can't become my norm.

It's also affecting my eating. I "feel" fat, so I am really struggling to make good eating choices. And am back up to the weight I started my ticker with. :(

Anyhow, I now choose to get up and put away the huge pile of my clothes, that I have been piling in the corner of my room for a week. I am not a lazy person, I swear I am not ;)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Taking a moment

Just taking a moment to say hi. Hard to believe it is only 8 pm and quiet round here. Maybe a first since baby Mace (Ky calls her that :) Anyhow, getting ready to start a movie with DH :) Looking forward to it.
Hope y'all had a fantastic weekend :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Not giving up

Sometimes when you aren't making progress or even taking a few steps backward (having an "off day" (or week :) you feel like saying "forget it"! It's too hard to lose weight, ya know?
BUT, actually all the times I make good decisions do slowly but surely add up to a pound lost. Even a part of a pound lost counts :)
Anyhow, I am exhausted so I am not sure yet if this post makes sense... :) But, my point is...I am not giving up. . even though I set back my ticker and I have only lost 2.2 pounds since I started "trying" to lose weight...That's ok. If I hadn't have tried I would still weigh 2.2 pounds more.
SO, I plan to try harder from here on out...and stay positive!
It's almost friday. :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I'm thankful for

1. THE SUN! enough said :)

2. Coffee. Period. end of the sentence. :)

3. Deodorant (for any day I don't have time to shower :)

4. Wine ;)

5. My sister Kara (who promised to babysit after school so I can go grocery shopping)

Happy Wednesday.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Weight loss, tax refunds and a weekend trip :)

I lost weight again! New weight, as in almost a full pound down from my very lowest weight since Macy. :) Now, I know you may be thinking one pound...you are super excited about one pound? But, it was hard earned! And it excites me cuz I haven't seen that number on the scale in almost a year now. :)
It's really interesting that I was down 2.2 since yesterday morning actually...seeing as I haven't even counted calories in the last 2 days and all last week I did count and I didn't lose. The difference? I cut out dairy and wheat and almost all sugar. VERY interesting, huh? So, that's my new plan. :) I plan to keep seeing lower numbers :) (OH and my ankle is better, so I did walk dd to school wed and we went on a bike ride/jog over to the cousins house yesterday after dinner. (meaning, the kids rode bikes and I jogged to keep up with them. It was a decent workout :)
And the bottom line is...even though I feel like I have been at it forever, I have only been actively trying to lose weight for 22 days now. And I started my ticker when I got my new scale..so really I have lost 5 pounds in 22 days. Not too shabby!

Anyhow, something else that excites me is that DH figured our taxes the other night and we are getting a REFUND! :) Yay!

Lastly, this is the most exciting....I am going away for the night. Just me and Macy :) With Ruth Anne....and Josh :) I can't wait. We are going up to Seattle for a wedding. I wish DH could attend, but he felt the kids need him to stay with them and I couldn't agree more. They have missed him, as he has been very busy with work. I am excited to have a night "off" and enjoy the company of very good friends :)

Happy friday!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Today

Everything always looks brighter in the morning. :)
Macy seems to feel better. Thank the purple dye I put in her mouth 2x a day for 5 days after the sores are gone. :)

I am down .6 today. Not my lowest weight, but at least the scale is heading down not up.

I walked DD to school so that was good. :)

And I am drinking a white mocha. Thank you very much!

My mom and sis are here to visit, so I will go for now.

Happy Wednesday.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Please fix my baby!

...............That's what I begged the pediatrician today. And he did. :) I haven't talked about it much on here. . I guess cuz I try to be positive, but my baby...She has been pretty sad lately and it has been getting harder and harder to keep her happy.
I just haven't been able to figure out how to help her. She has been awake lots in the night and not napping well, but not feeding well either. My latest theory was she was not getting enough to eat, so I have been supplementing, but still she isn't the same baby she had been. Anyhow, so at her 4 month check up today, I begged the doc. ;) and he amazingly figured it out. She has thrush, big sores in her mouth. She has had it before, but always in the front, so I could see the sores on her tongue. But this time they are in the back and on the cheeks. . and they are BIG. My poor baby, it must hurt so bad, no wonder she didn't want to suck for 30 minutes to fill her tummy. anyhow! Having an answer makes me so happy. Cuz when baby ain't happy, mommy ain't happy and then nobody is happy. :)

What else is new? Oh yeah, the van battery died so when I went to get DD from school I was late, but Ruth Anne was quick to rescue me cuz she thankfully was at the kids club with me :) Which was so super nice to see her.

I am super duper tired, so I have nothing exciting to say, so I best go to bed now.

Hope you are well.

P.S. I have no idea why, but I am not losing weight for some reason. Even though I have been eating really well....? I was actually up again this morning, for no reason. GRRR!
Oh well, there are too many other things to worry about currently ;)